Wanted to say something important to me that might help you today with all the change you are experiencing. It’s going to be a little long, but bare with me if you have the time, I think this is worth sharing. Emotion isn’t an easy thing. Today, as I was sitting at a Chick-fil-A in Denver I took a bite out of my sandwich while reading an article on my phone and after the first sentence, I started crying. I didn’t know where it came from, I certainly wasn’t expecting it and the fact that I was sitting alone in public at the height of a noon lunch rush made everything worse. Let me be clear that when I say “cry” I don’t mean slightly glossy eyes and trouble swallowing. I mean shaking, paralyzing fountains I didn’t even know I was capable of, completely out of the blue, without explanation, and 100% embarrassing. I won’t say much about myself other than that I can’t even remember the last time I cried, even in a little way–months at least. I don’t express/process emotion very well…. So after opening this article I read the first line which said, “I may not know you personally, but I wanted to reach out across the internet and proverbially hold your hand and let you know it’s going to be okay.”
It made me realize that I had months worth of emotions, thoughts, feelings, and expectations on myself that remained undealt with because I just kept moving. Transitioning into an enormous world and trying to find fulfillment is exactly as difficult as it sounds. There are plenty of voices around us which tell us to change the world, fix problems, and find solutions to collective issues…all while deprioritizing the order of your own house. It’s unstable. It’s wrong. It’s unfair to yourself, to others, and it can wreak havoc on your ability to be effective. The process of self-actualization isn’t easy and it doesn’t happen overnight, if ever. It requires energy, time, and critical thinking to thoroughly understand yourself, your hierarchy of need, and the deep meaning of your life. That investment is just as critical as it is costly because your emotional energy is very finite. If you use your energy flippantly worrying about situations out of your control or about living ‘optimally’ as I sometimes do, an emotional time-bomb will begin ticking and eventually set off as it did for me today. Suppression doesn’t work and staying busy is only a sedative for the inevitable. My boss told me something recently which has stuck with me, “your frustration is only wasted energy.” So treat your emotions like the currency of your heart and invest it thoughtfully. Today, I have friends graduating college and figuring out where they will fit into the bigger world. I have other friends getting married and beginning a new, exciting, and terrifying life alongside their best friends. I have a brother who just bought a new home in a different state with a family of six and other friends who, just like me, are now in the “real world” and still have no idea what they are doing or what’s coming next.
The bottom line is this, the world can be overwhelming and life can feel like it is pulling you in a hundred different directions at once which is exhausting. If you’re one of those people who is confident in exactly who they are and the direction they are being called in, I am honestly both happy and excited for you. But if you identify with the millions of us who are feeling overwhelmed, lost, confused, broken, or scared, I want you to know that it is going to be okay. You are doing your best and life will not always be like this. Please get help, learn how to process your feelings and don’t let them end up controlling you. Don’t save therapy for a crisis, it isn’t for the desperate and fire wasn’t meant to be played with. Mental health isn’t something for another day, it’s important and it needs to be a priority. Pay attention to what you need today and don’t spend months putting off what you can prevent now. I’ll leave you with this encouragement to remember from a beautiful yet true song,
“Slow down take time, breathe in He said, He’d reveal what’s to come // the thoughts in His mind, always higher than mine, and He’ll reveal all to come // Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul , He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting // Hold onto your hope, as your triumph unfolds, He’s never failing, He’s never failing. #takeyourselfseriously #therapyiscool #mentalhealth