I am beginning to strongly feel called away from the modern Church and towards the orthodox one. My reasons are open to debate, but one thing I do believe is that I’m not alone. Countless Christians are fatigued by the gap between our spiritual need and the current version of the Church. It’s easy to judge the Church, and many do for the wrong reasons; but this is a confrontation of my own heart and thus the body to which I belong.

As the temperature changes at my Church, I feel alone in noticing that we are no longer hot or cold, but lukewarm. Not lukewarm in feeling dispassionate, but in sharing priority with following Christ and idolizing itself. As we pursue projects we justify as “spiritual creativity” or “Christian production” in the name of pushing the gospel further, we neglect the gap between our flock and shepherd. The Church today is willing to estrange herself from her own flock in the name of reaching more eyes. Exposure replaces intimacy, and we are left with a body that has no hands and no feet. Additionally, many Church leaders are more concerned with wrapping up the package of the gospel in pretty paper than the hard and thankless work of growing spiritual leaders in their own congregation. In short, the Church today has become a restaurant when it was meant to be a kitchen. It is not my commission to be fed by the Church, but to go out and make disciples. The Church then is instead most fundamentally intended to develop and grow spiritual training and community. The misconception of our Church leaders is that they cannot change this city when they cannot even equip their members. 70%+ of members remain unreached by pastoral care, and even more live without mentorship or Christ-centered community. By pastoral care I do not mean have never had a conversation with their pastor or that they do not know each other’s name, nor do I consider Christian community as playing volleyball and getting brunch with your friends that also go to Church. Let me go even farther, we are desecrating the sacrifice of Christ by accepting His invitation to new life and continuing to live like we are dead. We are sitting on the resurrection like it is a feature of our lifestyle and not the whole point. 

The Church would rather domesticate itself in the name of becoming more palatable and attractive to the world when it is called to stand out. Anything born of another world should always be and feel uncomfortable in the land it does not belong. Are we uncomfortable, Church? Are even raising a finger to disrupt the world and its natural stream of life? The world does not need something familiar and you cannot make the gospel any more effective with better music, more books, or more events. The “world” is a collection of lost people seeking home in Christ, not the Church. Do you think you were called to mediocrity? Imagine you could see the Kingdom of God and you satisfied yourself with being a beggar. Many of you pray like a beggar, many churches are raising a generation of destitute faith. Pray like you have something to offer, and service with urgency. There is no circumstance in your life excusing you from servicing and praying in your community like it’s the most important thing. 

In closing, we are living in desperate times and we must become a Church that seeks its inward integrity over its outward appeal. The utmost priority of the Church is not to build wider fences but to nourish its flock. Afterall, what is the point of a larger pasture if the sheep are dead? All this I write in sincere love, and I pray for our discernment.